If I Were To Love Myself
Love is the only sane and satisfactory answer to the problem of human existence. ~ Erich Fromm
Self-love is the magic elixir, the ingredient that allows goodness to manifest… not the gooey, aren’t-I-wonderful kind of love, but the humbling love and acceptance for all that lives inside of me, the good, the bad, and the ugly.
Self-love is the terrain of heart where the medicine of forgiveness for who I am, who I’ve been, all I’ve done, all I’ve inherited, all I’ve had to embody, can be honored and held… where grace can be experienced. Self-love allows me to integrate all of me into this present moment.
Self-love begins with self-acceptance, by first acknowledging what lives inside of me, and becoming curious about it, until I am able to honor it for its positive function, for what it’s been doing for me. Yes, even those parts of me that I’ve worked hard to hide, to change, to eradicate, those parts I’ve pushed into the basement of my consciousness, they have served a positive function. Being pushed into the basement only empowers my denied parts, gives them fuel, where they continue to live in the shadow, in my unconscious.
Self-love is to acknowledge that every part of me has served a positive role, and I can be compassionate towards how difficult this human experience has been. Now maybe the time has arrived for me to embody self-compassion, so I can stop trying to change or fix myself, so I can begin to integrate, so I can be a vessel for the real love that is the medicine I’ve been longing for. Self-love is an act of courage, standing for my goodness even when the world insists I do something else.
This is a poem that I wrote in 2011, still true to my heart today. I hope it resonates for you also.
If I were to love myself
The world would be transformed
No feeling inadequate, like I made a mistake
No comparing myself to others… no matter what
No feeling bad about how others respond to me
Their acceptance or not
No believing I’ve done anything to be sorry for
No feeling like I’ve let anyone down
Especially myself
Nothing at all wrong with me anymore
If I were to love myself.
If I were to love myself
I’d rejoice in all that I do
All that I am
I’d know beyond all doubt
That I’ve been doing the very best I could
For all time
And that it’s okay to learn
To be more of myself
Than I’ve ever known before
Uncovering the goodness of my being
If I were to love myself.
If I were to love myself
Body would rejoice
Energy of love flowing to feed my cells
Finally getting the nourishment to live
Fully alive like never before
The gift that is me
That I was meant to bring to this world
Inspiring others to bring their gifts forward
Bring who they are alive
For us all to receive
If I were to love myself.
If I were to love myself
There wouldn’t be anything to be afraid of
Fear itself would be loved
And transformed by that love
Into knowing the truth
That I am important, vital
Inseparable from all that is
That it really is all about me
After all
Connected to all that is
One to the other
One large Body of creation
Made to open us to the truth of our being
Made to create a world based on real love
If I were to love myself.